pirogies, film, and jackholes

I've definitely been slacking in the writing department as of late. But hey! What am I to do when my laptop has been reduced to a pile of Compaq Shitcario? That's right, the days of old trusty are soon coming to an end. Bill Gates has made me squeal for the last time. Time for an upgrade.

Other than that, everything has been hunky-dory in Andyland. Due to some run-ins and meet-ups with some very wise friends, a lot has been put in perspective and I've heard things I needed to hear. These weren't things that I didn't know, but lets just say they were pulled from the back of my mind after being bombarded with useless media exposure.

I'm still painting like a mad man.
I'm working on this one right now that is taking me forever. I utilized two brand new techniques and wrestled with them for over two months, mainly using undercolor and successive layers of complementary tones. Using orange in a blue sky was something I wasn't used to, but has separated the work from my previous alla prima style. Also, with undercolor, I've allowed the background base colors do the talking, as opposed to what was placed on top of white canvas. So instead of trying to create a technically accurate image from one single layer of paint I've begun to build from the bottom, up. It's all very exciting, until I stop moving and the lights turn off.

Carla and I were talking yesterday about getting back into candid photographs using film instead of digital. I like that idea, because the thought of nearly losing all of my digital photos from the past three years in an instance scares the shit out of me! So I think I'll take all of my tip money from
work and put it towards getting my old rolls of film processed, instead of sitting in my freezer chillin' with my pirogies.

My friend Caitlin and I are still discussing my upcoming portfolio website, which still excites me. Don't hold your breath though, this baby won't be seen until sometime in 2009. But that's okay, because I'm still trying to hunt down and document my work from the past decade to put on the site. It's going to be exciting and snazzy. If you know any artist websites (even those that utilize Flash), just leave them in the comment box and I'll be sure to give them a looksy.

I took a really cool self portrait the other day, and I hate taking those. I'll put it up when i get a scanner? Who even has one of those?

I've also been finding myself in a constant state of laundry. I just can't stay on top of it.

I've considered making a new swear word. It's called "jackhole". It's a combination of jack-off and dick hole (another curse i've been really into). I guess I kind of took it from Marc Johnson, when he mention "gnarly jackasshole" in Modus Operandi. I like jackhole better though. It's fun to say and makes a fantastic descriptive word, ie. "Well, the guy was being a fucking jackhole, so I left."

I've also strangely developed an accent? Not entirely, but I've noticed it coming out every once in a while when I speak. It's a mix of a west-coast Canadian tone, and a little southern cowboy delivery on certain words.

I was rummaging through some old stuff back in London last week and I came across an illustrated short story I'd written in 1993. It was fucking genius. It was about a bull that didn't grow hair until he was in his twenties, and then died because bulls don't live that long. If that's not strange enough, at the end I went on about how his friends and family surrounded his grave, every night! There was also an illustration of this, which I want tattooed on my body. Sounds about right. I can imagine now, a tattoo drawn by myself when I was seven of two bulls standing at the burial site of a dead and buried bull. You can even see the outline of the dead body. I was advanced. That's another things I need to scan.

My doppio-long-espresso-con-pana has left me over-caffeinated, so I'll stop writing. That was the whitest thing I think I'll ever write. Rock those khaki's!

over, and under.

nuit blanche, again already?

Nuit Blanche art festival is tomorrow night, all night.

I'm exited, except I set really high standards for nights like this.

As usual, I plan on starting around 11pm, and ending somewhere around 7am Sunday morning.

There's a lot to cover, but I'm down for it. If it's going to be as cold as it is tonight, it may get rough.

Events like this are always hard on me, my digital, and my laptop. The old girl can only take so much. I'll have to spend most of tomorrow clearing space and charging everything.

I also plan on having an awesome time, even if I do get zombie makeup put on in College Park.

deadly weapons

The other day I was flipping through the paper and decided to read one of a hundred articles on felons. As usual, any journalist will state where the person is from, and what they were convicted for. Around this point, I came across a term that I've never fully wrapped my head around:

Assault With a Deadly Weapon

Now, there is no doubt that some weapons are indeed, deadly. But really, isn't every known object capable of killing somebody?

My confusion concerns around when an object ceases to be non-life-threatening, to the point where it can end somebodies life. For example, say you and I are playing catch on a nice, sunny day. No problems, right? All of a sudden, I decide that I'm going to throw some serious smoke your way, so I throw a 300 mph fastball, right through your chest! Obviously I am going to be thrown in jail for first-degree murder, as well as assault with a deadly weapon. But when did this conversion happen? When did that baseball stop being a ball of fun and start being a ball of death?

Just for fun, I've decided to compile a couple things that I could easily kill you with, which were pretty harmless in the first place.

I'll start with Rick.

First, before anything, I would take the CD out of the case and play it. You'd be having a good time, because we would laugh at Rick Astley's super-black voice. It's such a deep, soulful, and rich voice that we can't stop laughing when we look at the cover. Then I'd beat you with the case (because they're usually cracked when you buy them in the first place, right?).

The nail clipper. Ooooooh.
One minute you're cutting your nails, the next, you're dead! Probably around that time you cut just too close to the nail bed and bled to death, even though you knew you were going to do it, but you just didn't want to cut that nail again for a very long time.
At what point did these two pieces of metal become deadly?
Various sports balls.
I can easily say I've been victimized by any sort of sporting goods equipment at one point or another. I've been hit from 200 yards by a golf ball. I've had a tennis ball in my eye. I caught a football with my upper lip. A kid threw a softball at my nose. The list is endless.

You may look at the photo above and assume that these are all either displays of abuse, or damage at the workplace. But they are in fact all Wii related incidences! That's right, you could kill a muthafucka with one of those things. Wailing your arms around at top speeds in a small room with a friend while simulating kicking their ass is grounds for a deadly weapon, I think. Hell, even I've almost killed somebody with one.

Pencils are sharp and pointy. You get the idea.

My beef is only with the phrase. Yes, we all know that this person tried to kill someone with a normally harmless object, so maybe I am just feeling sympathy for that object. I butter knife is just as dangerous as a machete, and a slingshot is just as deadly as a gun. It's all in the application and intention. Assault With a Deadly Weapon just doesn't make sense because at their core, everything is dangerous.

However! I do have a solution. A new law! It's called:

"Assault With a Friendly Weapon"

It's for all those Wii-murderer assholes.